Modern Food Commercials = EPIC FAIL !!!

Aside from word of mouth advertising, one of the best ways to learn about food products is through Media Advertising. And, considering that most of you probably don't peruse your magazines "for the articles," you may be relegated to getting your food information from FoodTV or--to a lesser extent--commercials. 

Now, call me old-fashioned, but I think food commercials nowadays are heavily lacking. We've come from the genius of eating ads like this:



But now we're being patronized by trite bullshit like "The Whopper Virgins" (and most other BK adverts, IMHO). Let's look at the concept behind this crap: Burger King, in order to prove their infinitesimally small advantage in taste over the Big Mac (again, an advantage that doesn't exist if you ask my palette) they go out to some remote area, feed the indigenous people of that region both burgers in a "double blind test" and then have them report which slab of pre-processed dead meat they prefer. I'll get to my objections with the campaign, but I'll let ABC World News start off:



Aside from the whole "starving kids in Africa" plea that everyone seems to be touting now. Let's think about this from a more heartless, logical/pragmatic vantage point:
Who are the people eating this food? People in underprivileged countries. I'd be willing to put $$ on the fact that there is no real; "haute cuisine" in any of these countries. They very well could be the same people with whom Anthony Bourdain ate beating cobra heart, seal eye, or Warthog rectum. So, basically, what you're saying is that you're meat is preferred by people whose tastebuds are used to things the general US populace wouldn't touch with a fork on a 10' pole. You want to convince me that your burger is better?? Hire a master taster like Scott McMartin (from Starbucks*) to taste the two. However, I doubt he would do this.. why? Because both burgers, in all reality are shit. You want a real burger?? cook it yourself? You want a real burger recipe?
Here ya go: http://tr.im/3zwh

The other thing that concerns me is the large amount of food chains now hocking their "suddenly" healthy products: A few years ago, McDonald's had their White meat McNuggets; now, Pizza hut suddenly has whole wheat pizza dough, real tomato sauce and REAL pepperoni. And, as many of you may suspect, yes..the unsuspecting masses are going to rush to these places and eat minimally healthier food whose food cost price has probably been raised 7-10% higher to accommodate something they should have been serving in the first place. Me, I've just gotten to the point that I try not to eat at those places anymore (though, admittedly, Angus burgers are a vice). My mind basically says: if they're only serving these products NOW, what the fuck were they serving before, and why should I reward them for doing so for so long?

So, there's that; and with all my ranting and raving on said topic I'm sure some of you are wondering what my idea of a GOOD marketing campaign would be. Well... much as it pains me to give good press to Starbucks (whom I blame for bankrupting many a good Mom & Pop Java joints in my neighborhoods over the years), they have the right idea.
Free Large (er, Grande *rolls eyes*) Coffee when you pledge 5 Volunteer Hours. Sure, people are probably going to pledge these hours without following through, but I'm sure that there are a good number of people who will actually put time into their community. So at the very worst, we're giving some people who already do free work a free cup o joe while hopefully goading other corporations into following this trend